Sad but happy but sad day

  My older brother is one of the absolute best brothers in the history of the world. When I was in junior high and high school, I wasn't the kindest sister, but he was always loving me and always there for me when I decided that I had been a terrible sister and wanted to be his friend again. Thinking back, he really showed me what unconditional love looks like. I am sure I hurt him terribly through some of the things I said or did to him, but he was always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on or a hand to pull me up.

I remember in high school, I got so mad at him for something... I don't even remember what, but I was so mad that I wrote him a letter telling him I just couldn't be friends with him anymore, and that I wasn't going to come to him with my questions or thoughts any more. I am sure that letter was SO sad to read, but when I never remember him reminding me of those words I told him when I needed him later. He just wrapped his arms around me and hugged me when I needed him to.

My brother is almost two years older than I am. I turn a year older a few months before he turns a year older, so we always joke that I am gaining on him those few months, but then he shoots out ahead of me again. We have had so many adventures and fought so many battles together, and I would choose no other amazing man to be my older brother.

When we were little, my brother would give me all the food he was given that he didn't want to eat. Guess what? I would just eat it! Yum! He tells this one story about how he was given this spider (an Anu Sining) to eat, but he just couldn't stomach it, so he gave it to me, and I ate it all up! I trusted my brother completely then, and I trust him even more now. 

Today was a sad day. Well, actually it's a happy day, but also sad. My brother is a genius and is going to do great things for the Lord in the business world, but he decided that he wanted to go to law school to get some more training. Today, he dropped off a few things for us to store before heading off to school MANY states away. I made some coffee cake and a fruit salad for breakfast, and after moving all his stuff in the house, we sat down to eat. Over coffee cake, fruit salad, and PNG coffee, we said goodbye.

I've always been the one flying all over the place. I think part of it is my impatience that caused me to travel so much, but my brother was always in one area, always waiting for me when I came to visit Minnesota. Through so much, he was my anchor, but now, my achor is leaving! I don't think I realized how much I have relied on my brother for that level of calmness and security. He has always done everything he could possibly do to help me out, even offering me money when I didn't have any to come and visit him. He wasn't rich by any means, but he was willing to give me what he had so I could have that "security" I longed for at the time. I guess all I am saying is that my brother is an amazing man and the people who are getting him for the next few years are so lucky and have no idea what kind of blessing they are getting.

I will miss my brother, but I am excited for him to go and continue his training to change the world. I know that he hasn't needed any training to change the world, because he's been changing my world without any training. He's rejoiced in my triumphes and cried in my sorrows, he's loved me when I have been unlovable and he's taught me what love really looks like. He has pointed me to the Bible when the Bible was the last book on my radar and he's pointed me to God when I said I wanted to do things on my own.
It's good my brother is going to law school. I'm excited for him because he has amazing plans and wants more training to accomplish them to the best of his ability, but I'm really sad that I won't have a brother who lives ten minutes away.
So... I'm sad because he's leaving, but I'm happy because he's doing what he wants and is going to be amazing and he's going to learn how to do something that he really loves doing and wants to do, but I'm sad because he won't be here anymore.... but I'm happy, but I'm sad, but I'm happy, but I'm sad...
Ok... I'm done.....