DO and DON'T of Fourth of July

Last week was Independence Day, the Fourth of July, the day America became its own owner. Hurrah! So, everyone gets the day off work (except maybe cops, doctors and nurses) and celebrates by eating lots of food and seeing fireworks.
Image taken from here
Here are some DO's and DON'Ts that I discovered this past fourth of July, especially meant for others who don't have a lifetime of experience celebrating this momentous day.

1. DO wear red, white and blue in not just your clothes, but paint your face red, white and blue and spray your hair red, white and blue. Maybe throw some sprinkles in too.
2. DO wear shorts and a t-shirt, because even if you're cold, no one else will admit to being cold because July 4th is very obviously summer time. So, if you're cold, too bad.
3. DON'T bring a sweatshirt because it's fourth of July and refer to number 2.
4. DON'T ask what song is being sung when the national anthem comes on.
5. DO tell people you grew up in the United States even if you didn't on Fourth of July. You'll fit in better, and anyways, no one cares on that day if you didn't grow up in the US, they just care that you are in the US now.
6. DO expect to have a stomach ache after eating the food that people in vendors give you. It's full of grease and other nasty stuff, but somehow, it tastes disgustingly good. DON'T ask for an ingredient list, just eat it.
7. DO bring a husband (or a wife or a significant other if you don't have one or the other) who you can run to who will protect you from the terrible fireworks shooting off around you. They look pretty, but MAN, are they LOUD!
8. Last but not least, DON'T scream and put your hands over your ears and beg the fireworks to stop when they get so loud and DON'T plug your nose and yell out to the world that you can't breath.
Just deal with it. It's Fourth of July, after all!

American Flag
Picture taken from here
Next year, I'll be a pro at looking like I've been celebrating Fourth of July American style my whole life. This year.. maybe I was a little unprepared...